Love's A Fragile Game
by choose joy xox
Summary: "Somehow, right now, it didn't matter that he was once again putting himself in danger for her. It didn't matter that she had lied to him. It didn't matter that the -A battalion could very well be bearing down on Toby's thick, oak door, ready to destroy the only thing she couldn't bear to lose. None of that mattered when he held her." One shot based on the Spoby 5B spoiler pics


**Hey guys! I saw the Spoby spoiler pics on tumblr, and I wanted to write something with them. It was supposed to be up as a Christmas thing, but I got delayed. SO MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS.**

**What else is delayed? My computer issues! I'll get it eventually, and then things will be back to normal. But for now, things will move slow. But they'll get done. Falling to Pieces is almost done.**

**You guys are the best in the world, and you keep me writing, reminding me that I'm pretty alright at this.**

**This is purposely very vague, because I want it to fit in 5B. UM GUESS WHO GOT ALL FOUR SEASONS OF PLL FOR CHRISTMAS? YEP ME.**

SPOV

The night was cold, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that he was leaving her. He was leaving her again. Would there ever be a time when he didn't walk away from her? She knew that was how her altruistic boyfriend dealt with conflict, but it didn't make it hurt less.

To most couples their fight would seem insignificant, because she held no doubts of their feelings for each other. She loved him more every day, and she _knew _he felt the same way. She could feel it in everything he did. But as she saw his back sliding out of the Brew she couldn't help but remember chill of the woods... the stinging of the twigs snapping against her face... the dampness of the grass seeping through her denim clad knees... the crushing despair that filled her lungs. He was gone and maybe she'd never get him back.

Except he wasn't gone. He was still here. She could catch him, and she could make it better.

She stood up and pulled down her cream colored dress, wanting to preserve her modesty as she sprinted out the door. She would tear apart the world to find him, but luckily she didn't have to go too far. He was right there. _"Toby_!" She said in what was meant to be a shout, but in reality it was more of a breathy whisper.

But he heard her. He always heard her. Really, that was essentially their entire entire relationship. Toby heard her. He heard who she really was, even if she couldn't hear herself.

She could see the fire in his eyes, yet he still stayed. He was still there. Maybe it could be okay. "Toby, seriously stop. Please."

"Why?" He bit back, the warmth that typically characterised his tone was strikingly absent.

She flinched but was able to largely hold onto her composure. His anger always came from a place of caring, she knew that. But it didn't stop the sting that his anger caused. Toby was as close to perfect as any human being got, and it was near impossible to make him visibly angry. What kind of monster must she be to bring about his ire with such ease? "Don't just walk away from me. We have to talk about this!"

He didn't answer. He just glowered down at her for a second before spinning on his heel and continuing on his mission to escape her overbearing presence. "Please Toby," she whispered, her voice breaking at the end.

He stiffened, pausing with his back to her. "I can't do this, Spencer."

"Do what?" She whispered apprehensively.

He turned, his voice rising slightly. "This!" He gestured wildly between the two of them. "I thought we were done with the lies. I thought you finally trusted me." The way his voice broke at the end was nearly her undoing.

Her response was hushed and hurried. "Do not think for a single second that I kept things from you because I don't trust you. That's not true; there's no one that I trust more. I know you became a cop to protect me and to find answers about your mom. But I also know you, and I know you want to be good at this. I never wanted you to have to choose."

Her response only seemed to make him angrier. "There isn't a single circumstance where I wouldn't have picked you."

"I know that," she persisted, because she really did. She never doubted Toby's loyalty. "But you shouldn't have to choose." She turned this time, staring back at the Brew with tears trailing down her cheeks. She didn't want him to see her crying.

"Spence," he murmured gently, the anger ebbing to the point that she could hear _her_ Toby in there. He carefully grabbed her arms and turned her around, a mix of emotions coloring her favorite blue... a very deserved anger and guilt over being the cause of her tears.

But it was a needless guilt. His presence in her life was literally the only reason she didn't live in a perpetual tearful state. His hands had a way of eradicating every fear and insecurity. But he never saw what he did, he only took to heart the things he didn't do. "It's okay," she muttered to the ground, unable to bear the burden of his guilt any longer. If anyone should feel guilty it was her.

His gentle hands, always so gentle, found her chin and tilted her face upwards. "I'm sorry."

Now she was feel frustrated. She wiped away her tears with a swipe of her hand. "Are you kidding? You literally don't have a single thing to apologize for."

"I didn't mean to yell, I was just-" he rambled, obviously trying to atone for making her cry.

"I deserved it," she said simply. "I trust you Toby, I trust you more than anyone, with my life. But you have to understand how hard that is for me. My whole life I've felt alone. I had the girls, but I've always felt the need to take care of them; vulnerability wasn't allowed. And God forbid I ever allow myself to be vulnerable in front of my parents. I know you love me, and I know you'll take care of me, but there's a blockage in what my heart knows and my brain will allow. But I'm trying." She paused, seeing people exiting the Brew. "Can we just go upstairs? We need to finish this, but-"

She let her words trail off at his compliant nod. He was still upset, she could tell from the frustrated set of his jaw. But she couldn't bring herself to apologize for her evasiveness. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but protecting him would always be the most important thing. And she knew with every fiber of her being that he felt the same way. It sometimes led to a conflict of opinions.

As soon as the were inside she perched on the edge of her favorite spot on the couch. "I'm sorry for lying to you, but I was-"

He just shook his head, easily cutting off her rambling apology. It wasn't although it was new information anyway. "Don't justify it. We _have to be honest _with each other if we're ever going to make this work."

"Okay," she whispered, looking at the carpet. "Then can I tell you something in name of our renewed honesty?"

He sat down next to her and put a hand on her thigh. He didn't say anything, but she knew that was his way of telling her to continue. She bit down on her lip, because fear was never an easy thing for her to admit. But this was Toby, and that made all the difference. "I'm scared," she whispered, pausing to collect her emotions. "Every time you leave the house I'm terrified I'm going to get a phone call. That it will be just like the day in the woods, only this time there won't be any getting you back. And _that's _why I didn't tell you. Not because I don't trust you or love you, but because I know you're the only one that could actually do something about it now that you're a cop_. _And you would without hesitating. But God, Toby I can't give -A another reason to target you, because I can't live without you anymore. I know that sounds like something from an Austen novel, but it's true. I would rather live under the scrutiny of -A for the rest of my life with you by my side than the opposite."

He still didn't respond. She tried to stifle her silent tears as he scooted closer, wrapping a solid arm around her waist and pulling her into his chest. "You have to realize that I'm going to take care of this," he said softly into her hair.

Goosebumps erupted along the exposed parts of her skin that were hit with his hot breath. "I know," she murmured, tucking her face into his neck. He would be able to feel her tears, but somehow that was better than his seeing them.

"Everything will be fine," he whispered, reaching around her and wrapping the thick quilt that typically found its home on the back of his couch around them. Somehow, right now, it didn't matter that he was once again putting himself in danger for her. It didn't matter that she had lied to him. It didn't matter that the -A battalion could very well be bearing down on Toby's thick, oak door, ready to destroy the only thing she couldn't bear to lose. None of that mattered when he held her. It was like time stood still. It was just her and Toby, and together they would figure this out.


End file.
